


I've Told You Now

by sharedwithyou



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Mostly humor, No Mindfuck, Or is there?!, Thor Is Not Stupid, Thorin is a Softie, Thorin-centric, Thorlove, just kidding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-12 04:17:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10481874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: mildly inspired by Sam Smith's I've Told You Now“See (Y/n)? That’s how you defend someone. See how Bucky doesn’t shut down? And he has PTSD. Which makes you completely abnormal.”“Yeah? Why don’t you shut down!”“Ooh, burn.” Steve had been watching that 70’s show non-stop for the whole weekend. Maybe because he thought it counted as research, having missed that entire decade while being a human popsicle. Then again, it was a really good show.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HarleyMalfoy (HarleyDeadpool)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleyDeadpool/gifts).



> I had a feeling Pharm and My girl Har-har were thinking about me.  
> So, here's some Thorlove for them.  
> And you too Raven  
> everyone loves thor lately!
> 
> Love all my lovelies!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker

 

“He’s a buffoon.”

“Shut up.”

“See? Notice how she shuts down without defending him? That’s not natural.”

“In her defense, he is kind of a buffoon.” Bucky patted your head consolingly as you glared at Clint, hugging a stuffed giraffe and stuffing your face with Pringles.

“See (Y/n)? That’s how you defend someone. See how Bucky doesn’t shut down? And he has PTSD. Which makes you completely abnormal.”

“Yeah? Why don’t you shut down!”

“Ooh, burn.” Steve had been watching that 70’s show non-stop for the whole weekend. Maybe because he thought it counted as research, having missed that entire decade while being a human popsicle. Then again, it was a really good show.

“I thought we weren’t gonna bring up those 4 words in front of him anymore?” Tony joined you on the couch and tugged the Sour Cream and Onion from you, switching it with the Original flavor. You didn’t mind.

“Yeah, the term itself isn’t exactly a trigger.” Steve clarified sarcastically.

“Or is it?!” Bucky reached under your arms and hauled you up over his head one motion as you wailed, half- scared half- excited.

“It’s a trigger! It’s a trigger!”

“Bucky!” Steve gave him a warning look, so he put you down. And put you down, I mean threw you across the room.

“Motherfuck-“ You were plucked out of the air easily by arms that would make the Brawny man put on a bra and give up his tagline.

“I thought Brother Bucky was getting treatment for his BDSM?”

“PTSD!” Steve corrected with a blush while Tony fell off the couch laughing hysterically.

“He got half the letters right,” you replied hotly as Thor set you on a bar stool and went to get more pop-tarts.

"Half the letters?! Someone's rounding up!"

“Now she defends him-“

“Quit it.”

 

Bucky might have been in a good mood, but a stern word from him could still silence Clint. Mostly because he had discovered Clint’s secret porn USB and was holding it over his head until he got bored and turned it in to Nat the Cat. Yes, losing his dirty vids was way more terrifying than the whole Russian Robot Killer thing.

 

“Well, we’re out of Strawberry and Smore’s. Want to do an easy 6 mile jog to Safeway?”

“…but there’s plenty at the CVS one block away.” You argued half-heartedly.

“Yes, but you’re my exercise pal!”

“That’s work-out buddy, Thor.”

“Potato, Pringles!” With that, he dragged you off to another grueling workout which would render you nearly-comatose for the rest of the day.

 

“What the- I thought she hated working out?!”

“She does.”

It was Tony’s turn to scratch his head. “So she’s that sprung?”

“Hella.”

“Okay, cool it with the ‘cool kid’s lingo’ Capsicle.”

“Right.”

“Then why wasn’t she defending the buffoon statement earlier?!”

“That’s what I was saying!!” Sometimes Clint and Tony were on the same wavelength. And that was scary. Since they were both generally idiots.

 

 

“Because. He IS a buffoon.”

“Oh, morning Nat.”

 

 

Thor chattered away eagerly about the new episode of Game of Thrones, which you had given up on watching since you’d started a season behind and Thor would tell you all the spoilers as soon as they came out.

“So it turns out they-“

“Wait!”

“Oh, right.” He shook his head, never quite understanding why you wanted to wait until the whole season came out before binging. Who doesn’t want to know immediately when something happens?!

Steve had tried to explain that the idea didn’t apply since the things on TV weren’t technically ‘happening,’ it was unnecessary to immediately inform you. But the idea had gone over his head anyway so you gave Steve a hug for the effort and let it go. Also, it was insanely cute how excited he got about every mindfuck. Even more so how his eyes practically sparkled when he was telling you about it.

Damnit, you really were sprung.

As it were, though, you were interrupting him for a different reason.

 

“Leg cramp.”

“Oh, right.” He forgot Midgardians got those. You, more than most. “You know Brother Tony likes to say how pain is just weakness leaving the body.”

“He only works out once a week. The Victoria’s Secret Angel workout. And he only does half before plopping down with a tub of ice cream and quietly masturbating.”

Thor made a face at the unpleasant image and you almost choked. Also because your lungs were killing you. Actually, everything was killing you. You hated running. HATED it. And it wasn’t good for your joints.

“You make a fair point. But those Angels as you call them do have impressive muscle tone.”

“Yes, everyone loves to ogle them.”

“They are a sight to behold to be sure, but I was saying it objectively.”

“And me?” You were feeling like a pity party and a brutally honest answer from Thor would be perfect to let you spiral into a playlist full of Lana del Rey and Adele.

 

 

“You look good to me.”

 

 

You both averted your gazes as you bent down to tie your shoe to hide your cherry-tomato-red face.

“Now, let’s stretch out those hamstrings.”

He steadied you and pulled one of your legs up against his chest and leaned in slowly so you could get the full extension from your hipbone all the way to your tippy toes.

The fact that your crotch was now inches from him didn’t seem to phase him.

 

A compliment was apparently more embarrassing to him than this clearly compromising position, as one passerby whistled and the rest scuttled past you avoiding eye contact.

 

He WAS a buffoon.

 

 

But you’d chalk up the afternoon as a win as you made a pitiful face and he swept you into a piggy-back to carry you the last mile to Pop-Tarts.

You’d go into the why’s of all this putting up with him some other day. Maybe even to his face.

 

And, well, he doesn’t know it yet.

 

But today, I’ve told you now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a nod to the 4th wall at the end there ;)
> 
> leave a comment if you liked!
> 
>  
> 
> RANDOM RAMBLINGS:  
> poll 1: HOW HAPPY ARE YOU THAT I'M FINALLY WRITIN SOME FULL ON THORLOVE  
> i know i NEED to give him way more love. he's awesome
> 
> i'm just bad at doing more than five characters. notice how i forgot bruce in this one? yeah. that happens sometimes to thor. but not this time!
> 
> i always write bucky as a sort of fun/sarcastic/post-much-healing type. i thought i'd bring it up this time. it's hard to fit in an angsty character if he's not actually part of the angst. i don't want his bummer personality to distract from the real angsty point of the fic. in this case, it was all humor, and i didn't want it to detract from the humor. so yeah. sorry not sorry if it's ooc. it's totally believabl; just think bucky giving steve the bro nod after he kissed peggy's niece. damn that was fucking weird. anyway...
> 
> poll 2: i know i know, sequel!  
> it's not really a poll. i mean this is a fun one-shot, but it's totally begging for more. it's just, this song is a bit angsty and this fic turned out so fun and not angsty at all, so you know, it works as a one-shot. but if you don't mind some angst probably seeping in, there will definitely be another chapter
> 
> poll 3: FAVORITE PART/LINE  
> mine is probably all of steve's line. like the burn one. god i love the 70's show. although thor confusing ptsd with bdsm was probably gold. i know, my brain is amazing
> 
> thanks for reading lovelies!  
> give me a shout-out below! you might get a request answered! (no guarantees as my writing is based on inspiration and is usually entirely blocked otherwise. but i try!)
> 
> XOXO Bucky
> 
> p.s. the someone's rounding up line is a shout-out to emily galati's set on conan. one of my fav's yet.
> 
> p.p.s. that hamstring stretch SO has sexual undertones. just ask my husband. i mean, i'm just trying to get more flexible. you know what, nevermind. forget i said anything!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whee, more bullshittery and fun!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time for some more thor-love! fair warning, there will eventually be a bit (or a lot) of angst, which is what happens when i do more than one chapter of anything.  
> or even just one chapter. ehehe.
> 
> anyway, hope you enjoy! it's short, but sweet! 
> 
>  
> 
> XOXO BUcky

“Who’s playing ‘I’m Too Sexy For My Shirt’ on their phone?!”

“It’s Tony’s new ringtone.”

Nat the Cat covered her face while Steve tried hard not to listen to the lyrics. Clint however, sang along before Tony picked up. From a different floor. Over the intercom.

 

“What’s up (y/n)?”

“I- wait, am I on speakerphone?”

“Uh…no.”

“I can hear my own echo.”

“It’s all in your head.”

“Are you talking to me over the intercom because you can’t find your phone?”

“Definitely not. And if you keep asking questions I’m going to hang up.”

“Ugh, fine. I need a pick me up.”

“I told you (y/n) to lay off the cocaine.”

“You’re just saying that so Nat will overhear and lecture me. Don’t listen to him, Nat!”

“I wish I could turn my ears off,” Nat the Cat muttered as Steve laughed quietly.

“Anyway, I meant I need you to pick me up.”

“Tell Thor to pick you up. He’s there isn’t he?”

“Yes, but he already carried me to the store. And even gods can’t do more than 3 miles with a (y/n) in tow.”

“Then walk back. Use your feet, (y/n). They’re for more than just fetishes, you know.”

“Yuck!  And I’m tired!!”

“So next time don’t go on a 6 mile run with Agent Buffoon.”

“Don’t tell me what to- what’s that?” There was some muffled whispering, followed by “just buy the variety pack, Thor, you know you’re going to finish it in 2 days.”

“Okay, I’m hanging up. Byeeee.”

“Wait, Tony-“

“Sorry, can’t hear you.” Tony made some fake psh-pst noises that didn’t sound remotely like cell interference before telling Jarvis to end the call, thus ruining the façade completely.

“Crap.”

 

“What is up, lady (y/n)?”

“Uh, just telling Tony I’m using his card to buy the groceries.”

“Oh, terrific!” Thor wandered off to buy 8 more boxes, since it was on the Iron Butt’s card. You’d been letting him use yours since he wasn’t set up with a checking account yet. Last time he tried to pay for his latte with gold coins he’d taken from Tony’s vault you’d had to pretend you were on your way back from some cosplay convention.

 

 

“And where are you off to so early in the afternoon?”

“It’s like 2 Pm, Clint.”

“And I’m talking to Tony, Steve. 2 PM is Tony’s 6 AM. Actually, 8 AM. Tony’s 6 AM means just finished drinking.”

“I’m giving (Y/n) a ride.” Tony didn’t bother correcting Legolas. Since he was on the same wavelength again. Today was a weird day.

“Just tell her to order an Uber and convince Thor it’s a Midgard custom to ride Ubers every Thursday. After 2 Pm.”

“I see where all her normal bullshittery comes from.” Bucky noted.

“She learned from the best,” Clint crowed proudly.

“Nah. That wasn’t the kind of ride she meant.”

“That better not be a euphemism Stark.”

“Cool it, Mother Russia. She ain’t lucky enough to tap this.” Tony snapped right back, before waving his hands like a jellyfish.

“What the- oh shit.” Clint gentlemanly-ly grabbed Nat the Cat to use as a shield as a suit came crashing through the floor.

 

 

“That’s right, baby. We gon fly.”

 

 

“Ready?”

You smiled weakly at Thor carrying 5 paper bags in running stance.

“Uh, I think I need to stretch a little more.”

“Hamstrings again? Let me help-“

“I’m good!” You replied quickly, not wanting to cause a scene. The way the cashier had ogled at him jealously meant she’d probably have you arrested for public indecency if Thor attempted that awkward position again.

 

 

“Someone call for ze doctor?” Was Tony’s strange line as he skidded onto the ground in bright red and gold.

 

 

“Lady (Y/n)’s just a little sore, that’s all.” Thor mistook Iron Butt’s Hearthstone quote completely, and remained confused when Tony started cackling.

“Sore with Thor, eh, (y/n)? I’m surprised you can even walk-“

“Shut up!” You yelled hotly, attracting the attention of the jealous cashier, who was bolting towards the two of you. Thor’s new haircut may keep him from being recognized, but Tony was in full gear.

“She’s walking just fine- in fact we were about to finish our run.” Thor continued, giving Tony an odd look.

“Tony, hurry, a groupie is coming!”

“Fine, fine!” Tony hauled you up by the armpits while giving Thor a salute. “We’re off on a secret mission, bro. Peace.”

“Alright…” Thor replied, as Tony did a loop de loop and you screamed in fright slash laughter.

 

“Do you need help with your bags, sir?”

The cashier recovered quickly from her sprint to get an autograph.

“That’s alright, darling, I’ve got it.”

And he turned and walked off, completely missing the cashier passing out from his charm, and feeling the 6 miles suddenly stretch a bit. Maybe carrying (y/n) was harder than he thought.

 

Somehow the run home seemed to take longer without you.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> awwwwww!
> 
> leave me a comment!
> 
> Quick Poll 1:  
> if there's a love triangle, who do you want as the 3rd party?  
> terrible, mean question i know. and as i've promised, the story will end with thor (yes i am promising this for you, Stevie) so whoever you vote for will end up brokenhearted. so if you don't want to answer, that's okay
> 
> fyi yes tony pretended he was hanging up on you but picked you up anyway. also clint is like your bestie. so, yeah, unrequited love from either of them would work. and be very sad. ugh maybe i shouldn't.
> 
> i got a little sad at the end already, though, even though thor doesn't quite realize his feelings. sigh.
> 
> yes i'm a master of mindfucks, but i promise this will end with thor. which i normally don't do, but thor gets the short end of the stick a lot and i won't do this to lovely! this time around, anyway
> 
> quick poll 2: would you faint if thor called you darling?
> 
> honestly all he has to do is that sexy wink that everyone's made a gif of, (i think its from the first movie) and i'd hit the floor. 
> 
>  fyi the thor joke at the end is actually a joke chris hemsworth gets from fans a lot. a woman sleeps with thor, and the next day he admits it's him, and she says, 'you're thor? i can hardly walk!'  
> i saw that story on conan. gosh is he lovable. 
> 
> that's all this time lovelies!! i'll try to update soon! 
> 
> XOXO Bucky


End file.
